Tuesday, September 23, 2014

"I suck at goodbyes."

I've moved.

Well, moved back, to be honest. My time on the internet has consisted largely of shuttling between blogging platforms, apart from reading copious amounts of oneshot shojo manga--you know, the ones with the extra chapter after the end *nudge nudge wink wink*--and being elated when certain bands accepted my friend requests on MySpace.
(That shit was the best. My biggest achievement at the time was that I was friends with all the members of Simple Plan. Something I'll never not be proud of.)

I digress.
I've moved. I'm blogging elsewhere now. (If you can call a grand total of two posts in the past month or so blogging.)
Why? I don't quite know. It feels cathartic, like opening a new notebook for the first time and spilling ink over its snowy pages.
Or like taking a long, greatly satisfying piss. Pick your metaphor.

So this post is a goodbye of sorts.
But who knows. I might be back here again. Someday.




As I wrack my brains for something to write about, this scene from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (one that has caused a fair amount of shameless, ugly crying) continues to play in my head over and over.

Come back and make up a good-bye at least.
Come back and make up a good-bye at least.
Come back and make up a good-bye at least.

This post is probably the worst goodbye I could ever come up with. Probably because it's one of the only times I've even bothered to make up one in the first place. If you ever happen to steal a glance at the notes on my phone, you might notice that I've written in quite a few places that "I'm the cut-off-all-ties-and-run kind of person".
(How do I make that sound less pretentious? Ah well.)
And it's true what they say: If you write something about yourself in your phone's notepad app, you start believing in it.
I don't know who said that. I made it up. Bite me.

Maybe it's because I've never cared enough for decent farewells, or the people I'm waving bye-bye to.
So it's a wonder I give enough of a damn about a stupid blog that I started when I was 13 to whine about my teachers. 
This stupid blog has seen me through some of my best moments, and most, if not all, of my worst, gut-wrenchingly hopeless moments. And through this stupid blog, so has anyone who's bothered to read any of my posts.

This blog is my Grecian Urn. So yes, I suppose I do care far too much about all these things. Hence the pathetic attempt at saying goodbye. Hence the attempt to say goodbye in the first place.

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