"I suck at goodbyes."

I've moved.

Well, moved back, to be honest. My time on the internet has consisted largely of shuttling between blogging platforms, apart from reading copious amounts of oneshot shojo manga--you know, the ones with the extra chapter after the end *nudge nudge wink wink*--and being elated when certain bands accepted my friend requests on MySpace.

(That shit was the best. My biggest achievement at the time was that I was friends with all the members of Simple Plan. Something I'll never not be proud of.)

I digress.

I've moved. I'm blogging elsewhere now. (If you can call a grand total of two posts in the past month or so blogging.)

Why? I don't quite know. It feels cathartic, like opening a new notebook for the first time and spilling ink over its snowy pages.

Or like taking a long, greatly satisfying piss. Pick your metaphor.

So this post is a goodbye of sorts.

But who knows. I might be back here again. Someday.

As I wrack my brains for something to write about, this scene from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (one that has caused a fair amount of shameless, ugly crying) continues to play in my head over and over.

Come back and make up a good-bye at least.
Come back and make up a good-bye at least.

Come back and make up a good-bye at least.

This post is probably the worst goodbye I could ever come up with. Probably because it's one of the only times I've even bothered to make up one in the first place. If you ever happen to steal a glance at the notes on my phone, you might notice that I've written in quite a few places that "I'm the cut-off-all-ties-and-run kind of person".

(How do I make that sound less pretentious? Ah well.)

And it's true what they say: If you write something about yourself in your phone's notepad app, you start believing in it.

I don't know who said that. I made it up. Bite me.

Maybe it's because I've never cared enough for decent farewells, or the people I'm waving bye-bye to.

So it's a wonder I give enough of a damn about a stupid blog that I started when I was 13 to whine about my teachers. 

This stupid blog has seen me through some of my best moments, and most, if not all, of my worst, gut-wrenchingly hopeless moments. And through this stupid blog, so has anyone who's bothered to read any of my posts.

This blog is my Grecian Urn. So yes, I suppose I do care far too much about all these things. Hence the pathetic attempt at saying goodbye. Hence the attempt to say goodbye in the first place.

Progress.

Blogging - for me at least - is like exercising. Or dieting.
It requires willpower, something I have almost none of. For example, I will update my blog everyday for a while, with full enthu posts about what I bought at the supermarket, or how badly I had to pee but I was locked out of my house. Gradually, the posts become as dull and boring as cornflakes that have been soaking in milk for too long.
And then they just stop.

I haven't blogged in four months. Four long, arduous months. Which sounds great in my head, because it seems like I've been working my ass off with college coursework and practicals that I haven't really found the time to even look up from my copy of Prescott's Microbiology, Eighth Edition. But when I really look back, all I seem to have done is marvel at how symmetrical, how shiny Bryan Cranston's head is in Breaking Bad.
So not much, really. Eh.

#nowplaying.

Well, college is closed now. I have about 20 days of vacation left before the next semester starts, and absolutely nothing to do. The brother has school, so I have the entire house to myself.
No entrances to study for.
I can totally wake up late and go to sleep late.
Eat everything.
Bake a cake, ice it, and then eat that too.
Impromptu Wes Anderson movie marathon.

I imagine this is what living in paradise must feel like.

While I haven't been blogging, SO much has happened. A whole semester has flown by, and I'm still alive.
That is a cause for celebration by itself.

Fresher Flash Flood.

This is a thing. I wrote this thing roughly a month ago. Things have changed a bit since, but these feelings bubble up occasionally.

Evernote FTW.

Updated Jun 20, 2013

I have been attending college for just over a week now. The culture shock isn't as much as I'd expected; the population is as diverse as diverse gets, and everyone has a decent enough demeanor. Nobody bothers or picks on each other, so long as said victim isn't being a huge prick.

It's just as the Internet said it would be.

However, what no amount of askreddit threads and yahoo answers about college could ever prepare me for is the horrible loneliness.

The loneliness that stems from not sharing common interests with almost anybody, leaving you, quite often, with no one to talk to; no one to freak out about things with you. I suppose that's the price you have to pay for possessing such a vast, diverse college student population around yourself.

That, and the dreaded feeling of you being deluged by the fresher flash flood. A sickening amalgam of the despair of drifting apart from the rest of the crowd, and the hopelessness of not being able to do anything about it.

There's so much change. It's almost too much to experience all at once, and at the end of it all, you're all alone. Floundering, gasping for breath in your own little puddle of misery and self-pity.

Abhi mood nahi hain.

Whoa. It's been quite a while since I keyed in blogger.com in the address bar.
Well, it has only been a little over a month, but :insert something here about time flying like an arrow blah blah:

Quite a few things have changed. I would like to write about all of them in vivid detail, but for now let's just leave it at that.

Since my last post on this blog:

• I've gotten out of High School and into College. Which is as hectic as ever, but it has its perks. 
• We've adopted a cat from the animal shelter. It's been with us for over 3 months now, and it still doesn't have a name. Poor old no-name slob.
• I visited the Andaman Islands.

If this wasn't the most unenthusiastic blog post in the history of forever, I'll be a monkey's uncle.

More on everything later.

Talk about vindictiveness.

In Sleeping Beauty, the one fairy that wasn't invited to the ceremony gatecrashed the party and cursed the princess to fall asleep after pricking herself on a spinning wheel and remain asleep, until she received true love's kiss.
Wow.

"If any of my present buddies don't invite me to their weddings and their children's birthday parties, I will curse their first born children."
That sounds so messed up.
The fact that these tales we listen to as children, are in fact wildly inappropriate, not the buddies getting married and having children bit.
Well, to be honest, that sounds pretty messed up too.

And not to plunge myself into the endless circle jerk that is true love, but really? She's been asleep for her entire teenage life in a tower that's surrounded by a practically impenetrable hymen of thorny vines and the like. And the prince has never even seen her. He travels all the way to wake her and suddenly, it's true love.
If you ask me, that's borderline rape.

Meh.

People find solace in the oddest of things.

So there's this goat.



It's a large, white goat with big, droopy ears and eyes that can stare into your soul. The kind of goat I assume other goats would deem :normal:. It remains tied to a "No Free Left Turn" signpost, a few paces from my usual bus stop.

But it's not just some old goat. Not to me it isn't.
It's an all-powerful, all-knowing, bearded Gandalf-esque wizard goat.

I saw this very goat for the first time ever, on my way home from my first day of 11th standard, a fresh chapter in the book of Life and all that poppycock.
I happened to peek out from my auto just as we flitted by it and caught a glimpse of His Capriciousness Mr. Goat-Sama. It was just there, minding its own business, chewing grass. There was nothing particularly striking about it. Goat-Sama was extraordinarily ordinary.
I saw it again the next day. And again the day after that, and again much later. Every time I passed by the signpost, Goat-Sama was there.

This continued for quite a while. I often found myself praying that Goat-Sama's life be spared a while longer. See, there's this butcher shop right across the road from Goat-Sama's usual spot.
Not that he cared. To him it was all about the grass.
Eventually I forgot about Goat-Sama.


So yesterday, when I was returning home from my unofficial last day of 12th standard, having written my last board exam and all, I just happened to peek out of my auto as it passed by the signpost.
Goat-Sama was there.
Goat-Sama had always been there.

I don't know what I'm more happy about. The fact that my exams are all over, or that my prayers actually worked.
In any case, Goat-Sama is aliiiiive.
I feel like I've made a new friend. Goat-Sama is the Djali to my Esmeralda.
I'm not going anywhere near him though. He looks like the kind of goat that might bite your arm off if you were stupid enough to go pat him.

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Edit: I found this oddly hilarious. I DONT EVEN KNOW WAT:

Then again, it's 2am in the morning and I have been deprived of precious sleep for the whole of this month. I don't even know what I'm saying or writing anymore hGGFVBhfzHKjkbgl

Remedial Chaos Theory.

Remedial Chaos Theory is probably the best episode of Community ever.
In fact, I would argue that it is one of the most glorious moments of television ever.
Maybe I tend to exaggerate things.
But COMMUNITY IS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME OHMYGOOOOD
:Shamelessly plugging new favourite tv show:
Ignore this post. It exists for the sole purpose of there being more Community-related content on my blog. Yay.

ROXAAANE!!